My Heart

At this very moment, Asher Book's Try is on replay. It's been on replay since the day I downloaded it. It really describes how I'm feeling right now. I'm really trying for your love, but it looks like you're not even trying. I don't know if you're doing this on purpose so that you won't get attached to me. I'm really trying so that everything works out. But you've not been replying any of my messages that I asked on how you are. You have not been updating me on how your days are going. Damn, I really sound needy. I'm sorry for that. Because I really feel that you're different. These feelings that I have for you are so much more different than I have ever experienced. There was a day where I cried for 2 days straight. Thinking and being worried about you. Do I even matter to you? What does these 3 months mean to you? My heart beats differently when I think of you. I can't go to sleep not knowing how your day was. My sleeping schedule is going haywire. It's pathetic that I stalk your facebook page and your tweets just to know what you're up to. My best friend knows about you, she knows how much you mean to me, how special you are and how much I truly love you. My heart is seriously aching right now. These 3 months have been the best I have ever had. You've mend my punctured heart. You gave me love that I've never felt before. But suddenly everything changed. I don't know if I did something wrong because we're not talking to each other. The longest we've talked was not even half an hour. I'm crying while writing all of this because I thought you would be the last person to hurt me this bad. I really love you. I'm being serious. But if you want me gone. Please let me know. Don't leave me hanging. Please remember your promises to me. Because that's what I'm holding onto till this very moment. I know you're scared that you'll get hurt and hurt people around you. But for how long are you going to hide? I don't mind hiding with you. But you have to come to a decision. I can't wait forever, I can't promise that my heart can withstand through all this. I need you to talk to me. Be honest with me. Be honest with yourself. Do you or do you not love me? Tell me was all this for real or was I just a phase to you? I've never loved someone that I've never met this much. I love you. I really do. Is that not enough for you? What more do I have to do to get your attention? It hurts. It really does. I'm trying so hard to make this work. Tears falling down my cheeks when I think about you. How is it that I can feel this way when you're not even mine? What happened to the person who cared about me? Where did that person go? My heart is aching, please mend it back. Please don't let this wound go deeper. I don't want to lose you. Don't let me go to the point where I won't come back. Just tell me if I don't deserve you. Just be honest with me. That's all I ask from you. I'm not going to force you into a relationship. I just want us to be how we used to. Please.